No matter who you are, you’d do well to stay away from these four fashion errors:

1. Fanny Packs

Even though I don’t think anyone should ever actually wear a Fanny Pack, I do think that they serve a vital social imperative in that they help me quickly and comprehensively discern whether or not I can be friends with a person. If I see you wearing one of these, it’s pretty clear that we can’t. Ever.

What are they supposed to do? Store things? Like your pockets do? My Dad used to wear them when we traveled anywhere, presumably so that we would be singled out right away by local thieves and pick pockets. In England they’re called “bum bags” and a lot of people play it cool by turning them around and wearing them on the back. If there’s a better way for you to let someone rob you then I sure as hell haven’t seen it before.

2. Socks with sandals

Hey there Mr. Tourist!

Worst. Look. Ever.

3. Shorts with knee socks

The thing about misplaced fashion decisions is that usually they happen because at some point something was “in” and now it isn’t anymore and the person committing the mistake just didn’t realize that they were wearing something that went out of style. But seriously, when was shorts and knee socks “in” style?

The only time that knee socks are allowed to be worn with shorts is during sport. Or maybe those weird Irish dance festivals. That seems to be customary dress. But otherwise you might as well just wear a sign around your neck that says “Please don’t ever date me”

4. Baggy Jeans

Every guy that I know went through that phase. It doesn’t look good, but it is borderline socially acceptable when you’re fifteen to wear baggy jeans because the coolest people that you know of are black and do stuff like that. But you’re twenty, thirty now, cut it out. And if you’re Asian? Forget about it. Everyone knows what you’re going for and it is embarrassing. You aren’t black. You’re a thirty year old accountant. You are not “from the hood”. Let the dream go.

Ashley Woon is a guest editor on Yes World.

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